Quiet Desperation

You want buzzwords? Buzzwords we got

Column by Craig Marshall Smith
Posted 2/12/20

My hope this year is to rebrand my brand with some brand new words, while holding on to such dependable ones as “go-to” and “vibe” and “sustainable.” Listen, my go-to restaurant in Lone …

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Quiet Desperation

You want buzzwords? Buzzwords we got

Posted

My hope this year is to rebrand my brand with some brand new words, while holding on to such dependable ones as “go-to” and “vibe” and “sustainable.”

Listen, my go-to restaurant in Lone Tree is still the place to go to, because the vibe really vibes and the food is so gosh-darned sustainable.

I know rebranding will empower me because my influencer told me so.

I am living the dream, and now that I know what my allergies are there’s no GMO for CMS.

For the time being, I have leveraged “infrastructure” out of here.

What’s super neat is that my brand is matching readers with the emerging technologies that implement ongoing optimism. No kidding.

Listen, I mean, take a selfie. It lasts longer. Literally.

I want to go on your journey with you and help you to formulate a security posture.

Side by side, you and me. Or is it you and I?

I can never remember.

I want to assure you I offer a discreet set of services and all of them are as sustainable as pygmies in the rain forest.

If five will get you ten, ten will get you twenty.

Now, we both know that the world is an ever-changing place. And if we don’t change with it, we lose out on so many things.

Like Cognitive Cloud Computing and Robotic Process Automation.

Who wants to sit on the dock of the bay, Otis, when you can be out there exploring Big Data and listening to Elvira?

Or is it Alexa?

I really liked Elvira. Her real name is Cassandra Peterson. I was living the dream in LA when she replaced a dude named Sinister Seymour who hosted a weekend horror show called “Fright Night” with her own series of bad horror movies.

Peterson, now 68, plans to release her autobiography this year.

The worst bad horror movie she presented was “The Thing With Two Heads.” It starred an Academy Award winning actor and a former member of the Los Angeles Rams’ “Fearsome Foursome.”

I kid you negative.

Ray Milland’s head and Rosie Greer’s head headlined the cast of this potato. The plot centered on a disagreement about where to go for lunch.

Milland wanted Mexican and Greer wanted Chinese.

They compromised and went to a French restaurant. “Faire des compromis.”

Robert Louis Stevenson said, “Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer.”

And that brings me to lawyers. They know how to use words to their advantage better than anyone I can think of.

They can downsize a crime and turn it right around faster than you can say “Ish Kabbible.”

“My client’s only crime was to perpetrate a diagnostic misadventure on his former employer because there had been a fourth-quarter equity retreat that abbreviated his earnings.”

Listen. No, seriously. What I meant to say I didn’t say, but it’s no problem. Right?

It’s my bad. I guess it’s in my DNA.

At the end of the day, it’s awesome.

By the same token, I want a holistic life just as long as it’s sustainable.

You know the paradigm shift is not rocket science. It’s just a difference without a distinction in my book.

Craig Marshall Smith is an artist, educator and Highlands Ranch resident. He can be reached at craigmarshallsmith@comcast.net.

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